And then, for extra laughs, Peyton drove around to various nursing homes in the Honolulu area, unplugging oxygen machines and slathering canes and walkers in Crisco.
I kid, I kid. Peyton doesn't have any hatred of the elderly or disease-ridden. As it turns out, he destroyed Jay Cutler's blood sugar monitor (Cutler's a type 1 diabetic) by mistake. As part of all the zany Pro Bowl hijinx, Peyton meant to throw Cutler's cell phone in the pool as a part of some Pro Bowl rookie initiation.
Here's how it went down, courtesy of the Denver Post:
The gang of Pro Bowl football players had been gathered around the tables, swapping stories, when suddenly the Broncos' quarterback had 300-pound Nick Mangold pushing from one side, 310-pound Kris Dielman holding the other and his cell phone swindled into the hands of a coy Peyton Manning.
Cutler's radar had gone up, but he never had a chance.
Splash!
"We gave him a Pro Bowl baptism," said Dielman, the star offensive guard of the rival San Diego Chargers.
Great fun. Big laughs. There was just one problem. Cutler is a Type 1 diabetic, and in his pocket was his blood-sugar monitor.
"That was a prank where I thought we were smart enough to get the cellphone out of his pocket," Dielman said. "But then, 'Oops.' "
Oops indeed. In their defense, though, some blood sugar monitors do look slightly cell-phone-esque.
Fortunately, Cutler took it all in stride and was able to make a few calls and get a new monitor quickly. If I was him, I would have started faking stomach cramps and pretending to lose my eyesight, while screaming that I could die without my monitor. But that's just me, and I like to teach people lessons that will stick for a lifetime.
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